if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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