Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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