why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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