she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Someone came in the potted fern
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
