how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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