sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
