I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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