kristin has been a bad kristin
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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