I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
