No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
