I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
