I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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