Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
