How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
