i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
