I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
