Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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