you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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