she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
