Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
