whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
