Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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