Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
