she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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