u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm always down for nudity.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
