I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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