this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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