Umm I'm too high to move.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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