my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
