did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
