Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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