help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
