took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
