And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I am naked and annoyed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
