i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
