dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
