just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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