He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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