i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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