I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just high enough for therapy.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
