You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
