I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
