His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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