I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
