what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
