can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
