Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
