My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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