People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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