Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
