well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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