i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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