At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
